Cash Poor but now there's a JOB!

Someone finally rang and said, "Gee whiz, Pasqualina, we'd like to pay you to do awesome things for us."
I said, "Fantastic! I'll see you Wednesday!"
So, Hi, Bloomington. I'll be home in time for my Wednesday initial training shift/character analysis/W-2 filling out. No guarantees of fencing; I'll send my gorget and Sybil's old armor with Cecily or maybe Maryanne. It's good someone decided to pay me; it was a lot easier to stay a Lost Boy here amid the debris and antiques. P.S. St. Louis? You are teh awesomzorz.

P.S. Job iz? Makinz teh croissants and danishes go! Pretty Tasty Nom-ables. Coming to a coffee shop near to you with an alacrity made of doom.

First Mate Pasqualina of the Discord, Mid-Realm Mercenaries Ship Number 5

Much has been afoot on the seas of the Midrealm.

Captain Silver has been made Commodore.
Walker Young McQuillan is now the Captain of the Discord.
I am his first mate.
Mayhap we were banished to our ship ... for the use of polysyllabic words before 10 a.m.
Yes, yes I was.
Interested in sailing the high seas? Please, feel free to contact me with any questions; those outside of my realm of expertise I will happily forward on to the captain.
I celebrated my promotion by drinking myself under the futon on vodka crafted in KANSAS of all places while watching Iron Chef MANGO in the company of A. It was and remains made of win. My head? Not so neither.

back to business. also, pirate is teh sadzorz.

This pirate had great confidence in her fellow humans. A bit low on that now. Been cleaning for 48 hours. Still not done. Need more bleach. Need more vinegar. Well, white, not apple cider. The carpet is vile. 2 cats plus 3-4 weeks of no vacuuming? Vile. ick squick. Lady Olivia abandoned ship. Fortune Cookie is distressed but loyal. She sleeps on my bed. She's glad the window sills are back. She also likes to sleep on sofas.

I can see the FLOOR and the FURNITURE and I can access the fridge, stove, washer/dryer, sink,revo-fucking-lutionary!

There's a lot to do today. If you're bored, and have the summer-funk, find me. I have fun things to cook for you to eat.

On watch to become a crew member!

I dedicated Poor Man's to being a good bebe pirate. I wanted to convince the encampment that in spite of my EXTREME navigational dysphoria and my inability to arrive as scheduled I was a useful addition. (kof. 24 hourz late. kof. wince.)

I cooked. I made tea and coffee. I watched pirate kid-princesses and plied them with booty. I gave hugs and made saucy comments and followed orders. I mixed martinis and cough syrup and fed people broccoli in the form of gummi bearz.

I added top secret b-vitamins to dinner and breakfast. I imperiously ordered Walker about the camp, to the amusement of all. I joined everyone in vice and debauchery, but remained sufficiently sober for motor function and remembry. I carried my belt-knife and a corkscrew and rocked out the utility beltz. I jingled with pirate bling.

I flirted and snuggled and coddled and chattered and generally was myself at her best. Fortunately long-term pirate crew members noted that I, "charmed the camp".

RELIEF. sounds like that. Now I'll see how the Captain feels about it. And the Pirate I drank under the table? Back at WW? CapN Purple? Or, as I will now always call him Violetta -- he, oh he recognizes me not at all. Hahahahahahahahah!

I <3 Matthew Baldwin.

There ain't no problem that alcohol can't solve. Except alcoholism, I guess. Or a housefire.

http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/002557.html

MATTHEW BALDWIN I <3 YOU THIIIIIIIIISSSSSS MUCH!

TO POOR MANZ!

Wisconsin, again?! That fucking state is so big.


"Where's my train of thought? Wait, it's boarding, it's boarding."

--Pirat Christophe!