Misadventuring in Diner-land...
It reaches a point at 3:15 a.m. when the bars are closed and emptying out. No, the tables aren't all full, and YES, the sign still does say, "Please wait to be seated." Turning the sign around will not help you get seated any faster. Actually, anyone seating themselves won't be helped at all.
The servers just got triple or quadruple sat between 2:45 a.m. and 3:15 a.m. and even if there are empty tables, I'm not going to seat you. You see, I'd bring you drinks, but your server wouldn't be ready to take your order. You'd be drunk and belligerent and fuss about poor service, when the place is packed. Your food might take 15 minutes to get to you (*shock*!) and you'd be frustrated and lower your tips.
Good news? If you want to eat diner food here, during the post-bar rush, then you're not going to get that booth table you want, there may not be space in the smoking section, and you may need to be a teeny tiny bit patient. The place is jam-packed, the kitchen is viciously swamped, and the servers are running around splitting checks nine ways and refilling drinks.
I can't be bribed to seat you, and no, I won't call a cab for you. I'll get out the Yellow Pages so you can call your own damn cab. You can even wait on the couches in front until it shows up. Being drunk, by the way, is no excuse not to tip. If you have cash enough to be getting trashed at the bar, and cash enough to go out for food later, and cash enough to call a cab home -- you've got cash to tip your server for carrying you food and refilling your drink. Yes, you do.
You're going to have to wait. If you choose not to wait, then I'll yell at you myself, with management to back me up. Or, I'll get the manager, who won't be thrilled to be interrupted at our busiest time of night. Please, do talk to my manager. It won't do you one spot of good.
Sometimes, you have to be patient, even when you're drunk and demanding like a two year old. Congrats! The rules you learned in preschool -- they still apply.
The servers just got triple or quadruple sat between 2:45 a.m. and 3:15 a.m. and even if there are empty tables, I'm not going to seat you. You see, I'd bring you drinks, but your server wouldn't be ready to take your order. You'd be drunk and belligerent and fuss about poor service, when the place is packed. Your food might take 15 minutes to get to you (*shock*!) and you'd be frustrated and lower your tips.
Good news? If you want to eat diner food here, during the post-bar rush, then you're not going to get that booth table you want, there may not be space in the smoking section, and you may need to be a teeny tiny bit patient. The place is jam-packed, the kitchen is viciously swamped, and the servers are running around splitting checks nine ways and refilling drinks.
I can't be bribed to seat you, and no, I won't call a cab for you. I'll get out the Yellow Pages so you can call your own damn cab. You can even wait on the couches in front until it shows up. Being drunk, by the way, is no excuse not to tip. If you have cash enough to be getting trashed at the bar, and cash enough to go out for food later, and cash enough to call a cab home -- you've got cash to tip your server for carrying you food and refilling your drink. Yes, you do.
You're going to have to wait. If you choose not to wait, then I'll yell at you myself, with management to back me up. Or, I'll get the manager, who won't be thrilled to be interrupted at our busiest time of night. Please, do talk to my manager. It won't do you one spot of good.
Sometimes, you have to be patient, even when you're drunk and demanding like a two year old. Congrats! The rules you learned in preschool -- they still apply.
posted by Kari Stevenson @ 2:12 PM
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