this is where i SWEAR IN ABOUT 18 LANGUAGES

Donc, tout est casse. C'est encule, quoi. Tu comprends pas? Le raison est:

1)I have broken 3 zip ties since my arrival. This is akin to seeing duct tape fail.

2) However, I have met! Steel reinforced zip ties. Also STAINLESS steel zip ties.

3) I bet those are more expensive. I believe I can solve this problem with the proper application of MOAR ZIP TIES.

4) Also? not combining concussions with Hurricanes and Tropical Storms and STL flooded. Yes, yes it did. Yes, I DO STILL LIVE ON A HILL because I am not that stoooopid. cheap rent iz cheap rent. so there's some mold. also, some more mold. also, more mice.

ferme ta bouche, quoi!
tiens, je parle a toi! JE PARLE A TOI. je te parle. je te parle.
fuck you and your untouchable face. YES YOU.

5)Quand j'ai achete de la Pastis, erm, je veux dire, le pernod. j'suis desolee pere davico. JE SUIS DESOLEE. j'ai tout gache. j'ai peche. jai des peches. tu me pardonneras? la dame la bas a trouve mon portefeuille en DUCT TAPE to be amazing.

she'd never seen one. my sarah? YOUR ART IS APPRECIATED. SO IS YOUR SUFFERING. ALSO totally how I convinced the guy who wanted my number that I was a lesbian.
BECAuSE DUCT TAPE WALLETS AREN'T MADE BY OR FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS sorry. they're just not.
the revolution will be copyedited.

aaaaaa. espece de merde. tu sais? pendant le jour? j'ai 5 chiens CINQ. FIVE DOGS, NO WAITING. no fucking waiting. aaaaaaargh! I( hate them they smell they are muddy they are unclean THEY EAT MY FOOD THEY EAT MY BACON. at least my cat has the grace to hide when she takes it so I think I FORGOT IT.

Les chiens sont si STOOOOOPID. THEY even made me a lolcat.

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/11/funny-pictures-god-why/

LOOOOK: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/14/funny-pictures-out-the-window-in-3-2-1/

this one is mine.
well, I would make it. or someone, thinking of me, sent it to me by fairy magic dust.
also? this is mai life: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/13/funny-pictures-hisseh-fit-in-321/
FIVE DOGS PLUS LOADS OF MICE PLUS ONE PRINCESS WHO LIKES TO CHASE BUTTERFLIES IS made of fail. my cat was wandering s. grand blvd. yeah GOOGLE MAPZ THAT, 'CAUSE SHE ALMOST KILT HERFUZZY SELF.

this? iz me tomorrow. TOMORROW THIS IZ ME. TALKING TO BANK MANAGERS IS MADE OF FAIL.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/13/funny-pictures-is-important-to-us-please-continue-to-hold/

I LIVE IN LOLCAT. I must speak pidgin 'cause the dogz don't speak the king's english. what is their fucking problem. and it's not that they speak french or german or ANYTHING. not even hebrew. no. they're illiterate.

Oh, their problem? They were starving, flea infested strays hit by cars and sent to the pound to die who were found wandering in alleys, infected and abandoned. They were abused? If I yell in the house, Dede shakes. Bomb dog doesn't understand that you can't climb hoomins. and baby? baby is the size of an elephant and she is convinced that she will starve to death even though she eats dinner twice a day. all she can eat. she steals all mah dinnehs.

my neighbors have straydar and i have a soft heart

so now? with moar dog wrangling!